Bullies Need A Lesson

6 May

Nowadays  people  are concerned about something everyone used to pretend didn’t ever happen.  Bullying is a big deal for people that it happens to, but no one cared until it started affecting them. Kids that are different and quiet have bullies and bullies need a lesson. Stockpiling guns and killing everyone is the wrong lesson.

I was bullied  when I first started school. I cried only at home where my Grandmother told me not to cry because they were just jealous. Having a reason didn’t help. Eventually I didn’t cry anymore. After awhile the in my face bullying stopped, but I still overheard them calling me names and speaking about me behind my back. Some kids do nothing and cower or shrink away, not me. I did nothing as I gave them long warning stare. I was always as far away as I could be, I liked corners, but didn’t back off when my space was invaded. Everyone at school thought I was deaf and mute for a long time. I heard kids talking about me and calling me names, I ignored it. I was the most harmless and shy person I can imagine, but when people got in my face I looked at them in an evil manner as if I had the power to make them drop dead. When I was pushed I gave them fair warning that they were about to force a fight and whatever happened to them wasn’t going to be my fault. I talked to no one, but I wouldn’t be pushed around. Inside myself I cowered, but on the outside I stared them down and silently dared them to hit me.  Bullies backed off when I looked them in the eye with my stare of calm rage.  How can rage be calm? My rage is calm because I am calm and I like peace.  I never got into a fight.

I was only physically pushed 3 times by the same person, but it was after school and cold out. You know what they say in baseball, “three strikes…” I took off my gloves finger by finger, she had plenty of time to back off before my fingers would turn into a fist. I was drawing out my preparation, taking more time than necessary because I hoped she wouldn’t force me into a fight, I didn’t know who would win. I’d probably have lost and I knew it, but I was too lazy to run away. Actually, my bookbag was heavy with precious books that I couldn’t choose between reading as well as precious journals I couldn’t choose between writing in, so I wasn’t dropping it and I liked leisurely walks all over town, some kids called me “Slowpoke”. I’d never been in a fight, but I didn’t doubt that I could hurt someone if needed and I had a feeling that she wanted to be punched. She would either throw the first punch or stop pushing me, by her laughter when I took off my coat I figured it was over. She told me that she was joking, but it didn’t feel like a joke. I pretended to laugh at her “joke”. I turned and walked home with that group of bullies. Not so much with them as them following me and talking as if we were friends. I suppose they respect someone that stands their ground. It was that same bully that had previously put gum on my coat when it was hanging in the classroom, I knew it was her so I put it upon her coat instead and she tattled on me. I became friends with that bully, but the friendship was fake and we both knew it, I think perhaps she didn’t want me as an enemy. My dad always says, “I don’t get even, I get ahead.” I was happy with teaching people to leave me alone and stay out of my face. I never saw anyone other than me get picked on. Words are just words, but I never ignored someone touching me. I stared at the offending person until they went away or until I had something more important to do. I don’t know what I would have done if I saw someone getting bullied because it never happened. I saw groups forming around fights, but I continued walking home as if I had better things to do, I really didn’t. By Jr. High School I heard that I supposedly knew voodoo. I heard that my only friend was thought to be a lesbian. Others hated me, I had a few teachers as friends and went out to lunch with them. I suppose they would call that “Teacher’s pet”, but the teachers I was friends with weren’t MY teachers, they were friends with the school counselor and in the afterschool club I had joined called “TAPP” (Teens Against Peer Pressure). I met the school counselor when I was 8 years old so we had a relationship that simply resumed when I went to Jr High and met her again. My relationship with my own teachers was just business. I didn’t care what people thought. Someone once asked me if I knew voodoo, that’s how I know about the rumor. The question was so ridiculous that I didn’t dignify it with a response, I didn’t believe in voodoo. I know that if my friend was ever bullied or in a fight, we’d both be in a fight,  that probably would have been my response to anyone quiet who was picked on, they are my brothers and sisters even if we never speak. I sometimes have nightmares that my sister’s abusive ex husband is chasing her trying to kill her. In those dreams I always chase him as he chases her. I don’t have it in me to kill someone, or so I think. I never caught my sister’s ex in that dream, but I imagine I would have killed him if I did. All he’d have had to do to save his life is either kill me or stop trying to kill my sister. Simple, right?

Sometimes I have recurring nightmares about a zombie invasion. In those dreams I quickly search for a sword or long knife so that I could protect people. A sword is my weapon of choice, all you people with guns would be in trouble. A sword doesn’t need bullets. Once armed I slice zombies as I search for my friends and family. Weird…

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