It’s All Overrated

7 Feb


I’m told I’m crazy
Told that I’m a loon
Attempt to insult me
Bitter like a prune
Some like prunes I see
But they’re overrated

There are worse things
Than being crazy
Like meat impaired chicken wings
Trying to eat them and being lazy
Because eating is overrated

I know who I am
To thine own self be true
Trying to give a damn
But indifference starts anew
Because perception is overrated.

I don’t like prunes, think eating is a horrible waste of time, and don’t normally care what people think, although I don’t want to inconvenience them. Coming into contact with me counts as an inconvenience, I am too much to take in all at once, even for me.

My best friend has been deathly ill and it’s been annoying. We almost weren’t friends anymore. It’s probably not what you think. I’m not heartless, well, maybe I am, but that can’t be determined from this situation. Though, I’m not you, so I don’t know what you’re thinking. You could be thinking like me and be in the same situation.  My best friend is my cellphone, the Galaxy Note 2. After changing batteries it would get stuck on a downloading screen and I’d have to remove the battery for 20 minutes to get it to startup. I had to change batteries because the charging port didn’t work. (It may have gotten a drop of water in it from using soap water to apply a screen protector. I admitted to this to the manufacturer and my service provider, but doubted it got wet. It’s the only thing I can think of that might have happened.  They can’t judge me, I have accident insurance.) I write on my phone: blogs, stories, poems, journal, texts, emails, letters, etc.  I do it all with my phone: read, watch videos, draw, take notes during phone calls, set appointments, check my accounts, write, browse the internet, and sometimes I call people. I dealt with the issue for a week before requesting service. So not posting for awhile wasn’t entirely my fault. I was distancing myself from my dying phone. That probably wouldn’t occur if I had a sick friend that breathes, but it’s hard to judge a situation that I’m not in.

As for another part of my life, the only part I feel love for… I was heartbroken. My husband said not to call him until I could communicate with him. I take things literally,  it seems easier than trying to decipher code meanings like the “normal” people. SO I didn’t call him for 4 days,  I hadn’t planned to talk to him but he called me several times which I ignored for those days. I really had nothing I felt like communicating. I told him he should just move on and stop harassing me, but he won’t. I’m happy he’s choosing to stick around, but I don’t think he’ll be happy with me. I want him to go away and be happy. I really don’t think he’ll be happy with anyone else.No one else I’ve ever met has my patience, understanding, and desire for him to be happy. I think he has the right to go find out. Well, I don’t really want him to go away, but it’s the best thing for him. I can’t tell him to go, though. The best thing for ME would be for him to help me to feel something,  he’s the only one that can reach me. I can be completely unfeeling forever if it wasn’t for him. Why did I ever let him in? It was because I wanted to feel something and it’s amazing when I have that emotion, Love. I sort of wish I could turn it completely off sometimes. I have it turned off, but it’s like an annoying leaky faucet. A leak can usually be fixed, but I can’t fix this and am not sure I want to.


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